Now that it'll be another month before the day (insya-Allah!), I'm beginning to miss Nana already. She's 12, but she's still very cute (to me lah) and she still has this baby smell, and childish voice, and it's just difficult for me to go through a day without kissing and giving her a big hug.

Recently, I started telling her stupid things I did as a child. Sometimes I really wonder whether I was a problem child. Really. If I'd existed in Freud's time, I wonder which part of my sexual identity (stimulation I was lacking in) could be observed through my behaviour.

Like, I'd tell her how I used to wake her up when she was sleeping when she was about 2-3 years old. I'd pretend that she accidentally woke up, but of course, Mak never knew I purposely pat her a bit too hard while 'helping' to pat her back to sleep. The real intention, was to wake her up so we could play! Hehehe. Childish eh?

Today I told her a story that took place when I was about 8 yrs old, during Hari Raya. Mak gave me some old handbag to play with, and I remember it being filled with lots of 10 cent coins. I kept the old handbag in my storeroom, and each time kids littler than me came, I'd call them to the storeroom, and fish out a few 10-cent coins to give to them as duit raya. Then I'd tell them *not* to tell anyone. But of course, budak2 ni tak boleh simpan rahsia. They gave the 10 cents to their mommies & they had a ball of a time laughing at me. Dank, I felt soo embarrased!

Then there was another time when... Hmmm...I'll save that story for now :P

I can still remember some of the thought processes that went through my mind when I was a child. I guess we all do, huh? Like that time I saw a lump on my throat when I was 4 yrs old. I had just swallowed Tok's Vitamin C tablet and I was convinced for a few days that the tablet was still stuck in my throat. Tsk.

I'm not sure why I'm typing this. Coz I miss being a child? Not so. I'm quite accepting to the fact that we all need to grow up. But I'll miss Nana's childhood. That's why everyday I try and sniff a piece of her. I asked whether I could take a piece of her and stick it to my nose so I could smell her all the time. She gave mea flat 'No' for an answer.

And just now, when I asked her whether she was happy that I was getting married, she said she was happy. But she just realised that she'd be happier if I got married and continued to stay here, in this very house we grew up in.

That was when I realised, that she loves me a lot too. I guess we're pretty much each other's playmates. Sisters not by choice, but I'm so glad for that :)