Actually nitty gritty stuff amount to significant stuff tau.

As of today, I've yet to meet with the deco people (God, I really hope I can trust these people), the card uncle needs another day to show us the card proof & I've yet to call the caterer to increase the no. of chairs.

And.... I'm going back to work tomorrow! I'm so slow!!

Also, thanks to my 'great' ideas, now my whole room is merah. Red walls, red curtains. Kinda dark. Unless, we re-paint one of the red walls. But I know that's ridiculous. And I can't afford another can of paint. Really. I'm quite broke now. It's time for me to reach out to my ERS. Thank goodness for ERS, alhamdulillah syukur!!

Neways, yesterday, we dumped the Room Improvement Project (RIP - oh yeah, my room has been RIPped apart, alright, and thinking about it, I just can't RIP - Rest In Peace. Gee, corny seh) for a while. The plan was to get a dressing table & a little work-study table. We stopped at Barang2 & I saw this really interesting table. I like that one a lot!

Then we saw a similar table at NaturalLiving. Cantik! Tapi takde glass kat atas. I like too.

After that, we went off to another furniture store. We finally made a buy - a dressing table cum storage space. (Haiz, apa nak buat...bilik kecik, semua kena 2-in-1).

I really feel like getting that interesting table lah AH. Hmm, tengok lah kalau ada belen duit ERS, and more importantly, kalau ada extra space in our little room, we'll get it, can?

OK, he's coming over to finish up the last bit of our RIP.
Maybe later when Mak balik rumah after her class, we'll go off to Joo Chiat to find some interesting beige curtains (No more red, orange, peach, or red-related colour cloth for me, please).

2 things I realised today.

1. No matter how patient a man is, a woman should never, ever take him shopping

Especially a woman like me.

Fickle, calculative & bad at decision-making.

I've fixed my mind on something olive green (ironically, this was the colour i used to dislike), so that's why my attention was focused only at olive green clothes.

But what to do, the olive green clothes I saw were so expensive, it was almost sinful.

I'll make another round at RH okie, and I'm quite confident I'll be able to find something reasonably priced there. I'll KIV my olive green plans. Any colour will do. I'll do it fast. And I promise I'll get something interesting.

2. I've grown old & thrill rides are just no longer exciting, but merely pain-inducing agents.

I took Nana to the Escape Theme Park today. Instead of excitement (I felt that 3-4 yrs ago), I felt nausea. No joke sitting on Viking for 10 times. Or having yr stomach churned upside down on some Cadbury Inverter. 2 hours later, I was almost begging Nana to go home, but not before she took her final ride on the Viking.

I didn't realise how much my body was in need of help, until I lay down on Nana's bed this evening. My body was aching. No longer as nimble, twirling around in thrill rides.

I've pre-empted Nana though. I told her, that today, was going to be the last time, I'll ever take her to Escape Theme Park. Looking at me, I could almost sense her understanding exactly how I felt.

Oh well...we all have to grow old some day.

We've not gone out together for a loooong time.
The last movie we watched together was...hmm...apa eh? Tak ingat terus!
Neways we watched Mr & Mrs Smith today. Hai...mana lah ada suami isteri yang sampai hati nak bunuh antara satu sama lain? I believe, there's a little bit of love even in the most love-less (??! sheer contradiction) relationships.

Anyway, I've bought the wedding shoes. Most of the shoes we saw were boring (glad you finally understood what I meant by boring shoes). I liked the 9west ones but the harga sangat lah ridiculous. Lagipon tak practical sangat. I love the brown interesting shoes we bought, really! :)

Went to IKEA, akhirnya we ended up buying stuff for his sister. I think we can shelve the plans to buy the blinds. You know what? Sometimes I feel a bit nervous thinking about how our room will turn out like. But alahhh with some brown paint on the grills, the nice warm bed, i guess things will be alright lah, kan? :P Hopefully!

Hmmm, orang buat kad ni main hide & seek dgn kita tau. Bukannya nak angkat telepon!

Maybe tomorrow I'll get down to Arab st to get some ribbons. I'll go hunt for the netting adreh has been telling me about. Eh sis, I saw some shredded papers in town just now (nice to put beneath the gubahan items to give it a a fluffed up look) & i was so stunned! $1.88 for a little packet? Maybe I should start shredding coloured paper in my officer shredder. But first, I need to know how to operate that machine. Nanti kalau semua terburai kat lantai, habis pecah rahsia aku...ishk..

OK OK, getting more excited now, coz a close colleague of mine weds this Saturday. Insya-Allah :)

Yes! Yes! Yes!!!!

I'm finally at home, not in the freezing office, scampering here & there, multitasking amidst piles of files. Whoohooo! I have to cook rice later, heat up the vege, but I'd rather do all that than be in office. Really.

OK so he dah sound me yesterday. Sorry yeah? I am slow, I know.
But I'm motivated to strike some items out of my list within these short 4 days:

Buy brown paint & paint the grills
Scout for dressing table & side table
Confirm tokens for kids
Get my gift shoes
Get his baju
Get my baju
Get ribbons & flowers for gubahan deco
Increase no. of chairs & change chair colour
Hound mak andam & deco persons
Consider popping by IKEA
Go bedsheet-cover shopping

OK dah.
I also need to go to the library to return our books
Take nana to Escape Theme Park
Bake muffins with her
Clean, clean the house
Clear my wardrobe
Get some storage boxes from IKEA
Get that watch I've been wanting for 2 weeks now ($10 je)

Hmmm, that's it lah for now :)

That's a real song, by the way, about some civil war (i think). I didn't imagine that song out of my head.

I spent a good 5 hours at work. My nightmare...the day I dreaded, finally came & went. It wasn't as bad lah. Thank God.

I cancelled my leave tomorrow coz there's just too much work. I really hope I'll be able to get some rest for the rest of the leave days. I'm just so exhausted. Really.

But I'm truly grateful my sup is like the most understanding supervisor in the world. What would i do without her? Oh well, that's happening soon too. Why do the nicest people always have to leave? I'll miss her. She's just so...

I've yet to apply for leave to get married. I think I better do so soon, if not, I'll prolly have to cancel my leave (God forbid) in the event I get a case due near or after my wedding date (Argh!).

I can't look forward to tomorrow, but that's alright...I'll look forward to Tuesday. Please, I really hope I get everything out of my back by tomorrow. I really need a peace of mind...asap.

I've just discovered this thing called the radio blog. It's like the coolest thing - I'm listening to John Mayer's no Such Thing. This song is so real. I can still remember listening to this as we drove out of Melbourne city...heading down to the train station.

Neways he's back in Singapore. I'm trying to keep awake so I can just hear his voice.
But given I've yet to pray Isyak, I think i better go now. Ciaos :)

He's on his way back from KL. Looking forward to hear his voice again, even for a few seconds.

I'm having a lil' crisis with the world now. My crisis is just a speck of dust in this world, but it still matters a lot to me.

I'm beginning to hate my job (what else is new?). I'm having yet another one of those uncoping periods. The thing about working at my place is, everyone has our ups & downs, the highs & the troughs, the coping & uncoping period. I was coping real well for a month, then comes this uncoping period.

I was looking forward to my leave next week, but I can forsee myself coming back on some days, and coming back on my next off day...all because of a human error I made 2 months ago. That's life, you just gotta clear the mess you've made. No one bothers that you're going to be on leave, and no one cares whether you've not gone on leave for 6 months, and that the 5 days away from office means the world to you. And it's the last thing that keeps you going before you collapse face down amidst the towering files.

Is this a test for me? Geez, I don't even have enough life experiences to deal with my own issues, let alone others'. I hate this sometimes.

I'm looking forward to being with him, not so much the wedding...but just having him by my side. There was a point of time, when decorating the baskets really served as a therapy for my ailing mind. But now I've run out of baskets, and making a simple phonecall to check on the status of the wedding cards, and getting the caterer to increase the no. of chairs have become such difficult tasks. I don't even have time to breathe at work, let alone plan for the wedding.

I'm beginning to hate this job. And the baggage that comes along with it.

Tomorrow's Sunday, and...forget it. I just want him back.

Fun Fact 1: I've just combed my hair about 10 mins ago, after not combing it for 2 days.

Fun Fact 2 : I've got 2 huge zits (very burstable, PMS-like ones) on my face.

Fun Fact 3 : An ulcer is awaiting the right time to erupt...in the middle of my lower lips.

Not a pretty sight at all.

Terok kan, sampai 2 hari aku tak sikat rambut. I swear, this is the first time this has ever happened. I mean, I really have no time to comb my hair. I just bun it, and go to bed with it. Hahaha...so much for teaching personal grooming to some of my kids.

I've dehydrated, frustrated & very annoyed. Tunggu macam buah tak jatuh sampai pukul 9 mlm. Sighs, thank goodness boleh claim taxi fare tadi. Kalau ikutkan hati, memang aku dah maki hamun dorang kat sini. But then again, nanti kat akhirat, I really don't want to answer to them, as to why I gossipped about them on the internet.

I've been really bad lately. I mean, I really rant about them & sighs, I'm not too sure now, whether I did it to clear my frustrations, or whether I did it coz I really enjoyed judging them. Looking at them in a condescending manner. Astaghfirullah. My heart really needs purifying.

Maybe that's why God gave me that blister on my lips. So I stop talking bad, evil things for the next few days.

OK, he's home. I promise, I'll say nice things to him. Talk soon.

I just can't wait for Monday!

Coz that's when I won't have to step into this little cubicle of mine (hopefully).
I'll prolly get a scolding soon, but heck lah, there's nothing much I can do anyway.

Wedding preps? Almost done, alhamdulillah.
Actually a big issue is still whirling (is there such a word?) around my head - the deco & how it's gonna be done given the severe lack of time. (Tsk, tsk, that's why you should never jump a queue...)

Oh yeah the berkat's not that done yet. Still got the kiddo's berkat to think about.

And the chairs...the chairs...

And the costumes...which prolly won't be chosen till July. Gee, i really hope the mak andam remembers, IF NOT....

On a brighter note, AH came over to paint my/our room with Bapak.
It's dark red. I dunno what colour it is, but it's nice (to us, at least).
So now, I'm sleeping on the mattress, with paint smell drifting into nose at night.
But kesian AH, it prolly got too cold & he went home sneezing :( :(

AH's going to Kuantan tomorrow, and although you prolly won't believe me, I'm missing you already. Have a safe trip, & look forward to seeing you again :)

Btw, my mom said OK to aircon but of course, I'll have to foot the excess charges.
So how ah? Should I? Should we?

They will never be us, and we will never be them.

I had 2 dreams, sleeping on my new sleeping place (herda, you know what I'm talking about).

I dreamt that my kid went to prison.

I dreamt that I got 6 demerit points for a traffic offence.

When I woke up, it was all just a dream, and my body was still begging for more sleep.

But alas, that's just another dream too.

Reality bites. I have to go to work today.

Can't wait for the weekend.

I am such a bum.

I woke up at 9.30 am this morning, did some laundry, fed myself at my dad's niece's wedding, got home, read a few pages of the library book, and slept again. I woke up at 7.10 pm. Strangely, in my dream, it was already maghrib, and I was rushing home coz the PC show had ended. Reality check: I did not go to the PC show. Hehehe...

Mak's making noise coz I told her the proof for the invitation card would only be available in 2 weeks' time. Haiz, apa nak buat. Buat bodoh ajer lah. I'm actually getting good at this.

Am browsing the blog of this beautiful girl. She's gorgeous, has a cool job, a kind-looking husband & she had a really lovely wedding. Really pretty lady. I'm beginning to admire her already. But for now, I'll remain as a lurker around her pretty blog.

So AH & his mom fetched me from office this morning. We checked out the walkinselection thingy. We were like the 4900th couple who walked in since application opened last week, and the whole thing was one on a first come first served basis.

With only 1000 units available, you do the math. What are our chances? Our forms are still halfway filled up, & we're still deciding whether or not to apply. I say, don't. Save the admin task of picking up & tossing the application into the shredder. Hehe.

A house. A home. A place of our own. Hey, we did own one of our own for 3 years right? OK, maybe that didn't really count, coz we rented a place of our own for 3 years. Sighs, you're right, AH, last time the stress was about finding the perfect rental place; now the quest is to find our own(ed) home.

Do you know, AH, that I feel quite guilty? I've got this gnawing feeling that I'm the root of your troubles. (But of course, I won't forget your furniture issue too quickly. Ho ho ho!).

Sometimes I wished I wasn't living in this neighbourhood. Sometimes I wished I was living at Bt Merah, or maybe Jurong, or perhaps Hougang. Somewhere common, somewhere more affordable.

And I strongly believe that in every couple, one'll be the optimist, and the other will be the pessimist. Doesn't take a genius to figure out which role I play. Pessimism is an innate trait in me. And being in this line, I really put finances first - I've seen too many families wrecked by finances, or the lack of it, more like it.

Of course I'd love our own place. It'll be fun, just like ol' times. Worse come to worse, we'll just get a flat in Pungggol k? I mean, the houses there look really pretty. I love pretty homes.

I'll remember this day. My virgin trip into HDB with the intention to actually enquire about owning a flat. And it was my virgin trip to another flat. A lovely one.

Talk soon, AH. :)

Wokie, alhamdulillah.

An order for 350 pieces of cards for me has been placed. I seriously had no idea it was that difficult settling on where to put our names, whether to put it in English & Malay , or whether to put it in English OR Malay. Whether to include our telephone numbers. OK, I just hope the end product is OK. Readable, straightforward? OK go.

His no. of guests is much lesser than mine. It's going to be quite a simple affair, insya-Allah only attended by the closer ones.

Next? I have to call FM to talk about the chairs. Or should I just forget it & call up the caterer to change the chair colours? Since I started working, picking the phone up to make the call has just become really hard to do. If only I could just sms to everyone. Just sms my troubles away. :P