Presenting...



a pretty baby named Ulfah. Belongs to a beautiful young mother (& father too), a friend from jc. Both mummy & Ulfah look so radiant. Makes Aunty Nani more determined than ever to start the jogging trips. For a start, Aunty Nani walked home really fast on the way home.

I met cutie aniq too. I can't believe I finally made it to visit mummy & aniq! After 2 months! I'm glad I didn't procrastinate, coz if I saw him any later, he'd probably be much much bigger. But I liked how he fitted so snugly on the contours of my (flabby) body.

*sighs*

Babies...are such wonders!

I think today's quite a record feat. I met 3 babies in 1 day. AH's niece, the little bundle I'll never fail to squeeze & sniff every 5 seconds. Sometimes I feel like breathing her into me - the baby smell, the coo, the goo...aww so cute! Then the 2 little newborns.

*double sighs*

Just for the record, me is no pregnant at the moment. Many people have been asking if I'm expecting, but surprisingly, I've taken no offence at all. I just reply that I'm not pregnant, just fat. And then giggles & squeals of laughter from me & the person who asked the question. Then, on to other topics.

For now, I'll join in the fun & share my friends' joy & soak in the babymosphere!

Nice couple Mona & Lias got married last weekend after... more than 6 years of courtship? We met up with the bride before she turned into Mrs Alias. To the couple, may the future years bring much happiness and blessings. It's going to be a wonderful journey :)

Want more photos? Pop by here. You have to sign in first, though.

So I survived the week in 1 piece. Well in a few hours time, that is...cos this is my working Saturday. But that's OK. I'm going to Sentosa for a family day, so I'm quite sure the day will pass by quickly. Yes!

It's Mon's wedding this weekend, so going over twice for the nikah & dinner should keep us busy too.

During lunchtime yesterday, we checked out the lorealsale. I'd say it wasn't that fantastic unless you're a loose powder, foundation & lipsticks junkie. Once again I couldn't find my black eyeshadow. And I talked myself out of buying that mascara at 2 for $15. I'd really have liked 1 mascara (the one I have, is at least 3 yrs old) but since I didn't have a use for the other one... But I bought a nice lipgloss, an orangey-cream eye shadow and an exciting metallic brown eye shadow, all for only $15!

And yesterday night, we had dinner @Amirah'sgrill. Nice food, good ambience, great company (so cliche sounding!!). Really nice, with a private room & all. I had some kambing ribs and felt quite guilty as I was enjoying the tenderness & sweetness (read: the fats) but I finished the whole plate anyway. Now I'm feeling quite warm...does eating kambing make one feel warm?

I bought this supposedly anti-stress CD to calm my nerves when the going gets really tough at work. To my dismay, the CD brought more stress to me - full of loud piano sounds. Urgh. Should've listened to it before I bought it at $10 last Saturday.

Anyway I learnt 2 things today:

Ignorance is bliss, which translates to, what you don't know won't hurt you.

What you have, is just a loan from Him, and He can take it away from you anytime He wishes.

I found out something prematurely today and I felt so disappointed, cheated, to the point of being disgusted. This has nothing to do with AH, btw. It was about something unfair, that
concerned me & erm...my rice bowl?

I felt really annoyed the moment that thought sunk into me. So annoyed that I just didn't want to go back to work, and took the day off in the afternoon. Like I mentioned in past posts, this week has been realllly REAllly bad for me. I have zero enthusiasm for work. I hate work so much this week. I just don't want to go to work and I wish I can just stay at home and mope around. But of course, I still want to go shopping, and if I want to do that often, I'll need to work. Tsk.

By the time I got up from the quick nap, I sorta got over that premature piece of info I received. I still like my job & I suppose how I related to the individuals I work with matters more than anything else at work; definitely more than the stupid rat races at work. More than how everyone's so obssessed about complying with isostandards and how we appear to others.

Then I flipped my phone & went through the smses I've received & still kept. And by Allah's will, my fingers clicked on this one:

Ms ******, I didn't get a chance to say thanks. But now I want to say thank you. U support me in many ways. If nt because of u & ****, I may not be schooling a year ago. Thank u so much.

And that made my heart go all warm (despite the grammatically incorrect sms language). Who cares if no one bothers about what I do? At least I know I've made a difference to someone's life, even if it was just 1 person.

I still keep that sms. It keeps me going when work just becomes a whirlwind of mess sometimes.

With AH's advice, I'll take that piece of info today as a test from Him. There's a reason why it's happening as He knows best.

****

On the way home from the movie on Monday, Mak told me that God has put us in various positions to see how we react. (I imagined us humans to be little plastic dolls on a table soccer game) Some has more power, some has less. Those with power definitely have a choice to throw their weight about when dealing with the weaker ones. But of course, less points will be given (in fact, deducted) if you abuse yr authority.

So that's why when working with people, we should never ever look at them condescendingly, coz you might get hit in the face yourself some day. It's tough but I really want to try my best. I may have more than them, but if Allah takes away what He has loaned to me, then who am I to say I'm better than any of the people I work with?

I feel like rambling more, but it's late and I really should get to bed. I hope tomorrow will be a better day. May He grant us with patience & strength to get through the challenges that await, insya-Allah.

Last week was quite bad. I had to work half day on Sunday too. God also granted me with energy to go for a walk at Peirce Reservoir with AH's family on Sunday afternoon. So, as expected, my body ached and I was overcome by feelings of sadness about having to go to work on Monday morning.

I'd planned to take the rest of the Monday afternoon off to go back & sleep, but Mak asked me along to watch Le Grand Voyage, so I did. I liked the story, but Mak found it a bit anti-climax that the father passed away in Mecca. The movie showed a scene, which showed the place where bodies were kept. I wondered if my Nen was there too when she passed away there. Or maybe it was just in the movies.

I've got several home visits to do and I'm just so so tired. I'm going through a period in which I really don't want to go to work, and all I wanna do is laze around all day. But of course, that's wishful thinking. I hope I'll snap out of this soon. Coz I know, I still love my job. This is just a phase.

Sometimes I wonder why I can't just accept a fact as it is, and talk about it like I'm right. It's a bad habit. OK, I'll try to get through the day without disputing anything at all. That's today's resolution.

If irrisdiary.blogspot.com suddenly can't be found anymore, you can try looking for me at the above potential url.

Sometimes when work gets really annoying, one of my buddies at work & myself will aliken ourselves to semuts. When a command is given by the chief semuts (read:bosses), all of us tiny semuts will be scrambling on our little feet to give the chief semuts whatever they want. Quite funny actually. We never fail to have a good laugh everytime the semut analogy comes up.

...

I think this is my favourite wedding shot. AH looks pretty cool here & I don't look like I'm trying too hard to smile. Now, why didn't I blow up this photo instead of the one where AH looks like Hang Jebat & I look like I have cheekbones as high as Janet's?

Btw, it just dawned upon me, that we've been married for exactly 6 months today. I wonder whether I'm beginning to look like AH, and vice versa. Coz apart from the birth-order & marriage theory, there is also this theory that you start to look like yr partner after marriage. I suppose you rub off each other as you grow to live with your spouse. I think AH can be quite cute & good-looking (my personal opinion lah, it's ok if you don't agree :p) so I don't mind looking a bit like him. As long as I don't start sporting a beard or jambang, I'm fine with it.

Wish me luck as I sail through a long 7-day work week! Night duties included.

I didn't really have a restful sleep yesternight. Woke up feeling really woozy. Head still feels heavy now. If only I'm on MC today...but nope, I'm just on time off. Lots of paperwork to clear + lots of appointments to keep. If this is Monday blues, then it's Monday blues at its worst.

The birthday man is sound asleep, and I, the one who has downed a yellow pill for runny nose, am still wide awake. Thanks to the cups of tea I drank to keep myself warm at CafeVienna today. My first time there, to give AH a treat on his birthday.

If I were AH, I'd make the following wishes/doa for my birthday:

1. Wish both of us would lose enough weight to fit into clothes which are 2 sizes smaller.

2. Wish I'd be blessed with good health & rezeki & happiness in both dunia & akhirat (am quite sure this is in his list of wishes)

3. Wish to clear my studies successfully (yups, he wished for this one too)

4. Wish to have a baby soon!

But AH is AH & I'm not him, so he can pretty much wish for whatever he wants. But AH, yr birthdate very "cantik" one you know; betul2 on payday. Syukur jugak :p

....

This February, I resolve to spend less (applicable from tomorrow onwards). I bought a nice pair of birkies yesterday & I hope that'll last me for a long time.

I bought my Klinikcompact anyway in the end coz just 2 days into using the compact w/foundation, my zits made a comeback. Actually what one of my colleagues said, sort of prompted me to buy the compact. She commented that I was very fair. So I told her, that I had used the wrong powder (I think it was a shade fairer than my StayNeutral-02 colour) & she laughed like it was the funniest thing she ever heard. And she said I was joking although I told her I wasn't. The fact she commented I was fair (out of the blue) was enough to prove TBS' compact wasn't suitable for me, so that's quite a bit of $ gone.

Think the medicine is kicking in. Feeling kinda woozy now. Hello Monday blues, see you tomorrow.

I had a pretty much enjoyable day today. A 2-hr session in the morning, helping out a master's student, a quick lunch amidst completing several mini tasks then off to a meeting which ended in time for me to get a haircut. If only everyday was like this; I would spring out of bed to go to work every single day!

The hairdresser told me that my hair was getting thin *shudders*. Serves me right. Dulu kacau2 ex-housemate about her hair being thin. Now, it's my own hair that's thinning. Argh. Is it because of the tudung? I mean, just perap my hair for at least 9 hrs a day, then by the time i remove the tudung at home, there's not much sunlight for the hair to grow (gee, are hair like plants too?). Well that's what my tudungster colleague believes at least.

Well apparently, according to the expert Melayu hairdresser i visited just now, my hair gugur sebab it's dry. And I also told her, that I've stopped conditioning my hair for a long time (to save $$. No lah, actually I was just plain lazy. Plus, I believed that conditioning was the primary cause of my hair loss). I think she was quite horrified by my confession and promptly told me to condition my hair. She also told me about the hair loss spray that the salon was selling, but didn't pressure me into buying it.

When I heard that my hair was thinning, I could feel the hair on my arms raising a bit. Argh, no, I don't wanna lose my hair. I love being hairy (on the head). I resolved to do something about it immediately. So, after the session, I went to NTUC & bought myself a bottle of conditioner. That, shall be my new best friend in the shower.

....

On the way home in the train, I spotted this pakcik eagerly looking at me. The moment our eyes met (hahah! somehow that doesn't sound too right), he immediately signalled whether I wanted his seat. Urm...i waved a No, and almost instantly, looked down at my stomach. Do I look pregnant to him??

But I reckoned, I was just being overly sensitive. I figured he wanted to give me the seat because he, his beautiful wife & son, were alighting at the next stop, that's why.

Anyway, worry not Nani, you've managed to do 10 sit ups this morning, climbed the stairs 10 times, and you even walked back home from NTUC instead of taking the bus! In no time, you'll lose the tummy fat.

Alhamdulillah, I'll be employed for another 2 years, so that's good! Whether or not I'll remain half as sane as I am now is another question. But I love what I'm doing, and insya-Allah I hope to continue doing it right. Yes, here I come to save the world!

Yesterday I went for a BW. It's been close to 5 months since my last BW, and of course, it wasn't a pretty sight at all. And I got a Malay therapist, so I was quite shy. But thank goodness she was fun, and I thought I was pretty friendly too. Well what matters is that it's much neater now, and I'm feeling much cleaner too.

So after that short appointment, I went over to buy Nana a pair of goggles. But I just had to enter Marks&Spencers to browse. And I emerged with the best-fitting-pants-I've-ever-worn. Ever. My thunder thighs could fit in it! But of course, kena close one eye about how much I paid for it :p

And I spent close to $40 on a wrong purchase. The plan was to find a cheaper substitute to the remnants of a klinik compact, so I went to TBS to get a compact. Sekali tu, salesgirl tu pulak tak bilang that the one I bought was a compact foundation. Alahaii....I only realised it when I got home. It's been years since I used a compact foundation, coz that's the main culprit for my zits! But now, maybe I should try using it again...take a chance. If not, then I'll still have to fork out the $$ for the one I'm used to using. The things you have to do for not having not-so-perfect-skin. But I must be grateful, alhamdulillah, I'm sure there's a reason for my not-so-perfect-skin. If not, sapa tau, dah cantik sangat, sampai jadi sombong ke? Apa ke? Kan? :p

It has been so long since I got in touch with people I was once close with. So yesterday was good. Managed to catch up via sms with those people. And I think I am beginning to believe, that it's not easy to find love when you're looking too hard for it.

So thank God, I've found love, and it wasn't so hard to do so for us.

Sometimes, the topic of birth order (whether you anak sulung ke, anak tengah ke, anak bongsu ke, anak dara ke) will come up during discussions, either with AH, or among our group of friends.

So far, AH & I noticed, that if one partner is the eldest, he/she will marry a partner who's either *not* the eldest, or the youngest, or the only child.

Example? I'm the eldest, and AH is the younger of 2 siblings.

Bapak is the eldest and Mak's the only child.

Herda is the eldest and Kamal's the only child (hehe, pinjam example kejap).

This is not the rule of thumb when choosing a partner lah. Jangan pulak sampai check dulu the birth order of that person before you begin courtship. But the combinations occur so often, that we start to marvel (macam takde benda lain nak dibualkan).

We even have evidences to support the hypothesis!

We thought:
1. Sulung borns tend to be more sisterly/doting so they'll shower lots of attention to non-sulung borns. The non-sulung borns, always doted upon, will appreciate the fussing.

2. If you're a sulung born, chances are, you'll have younger siblings. If you're the youngest, chances are you'll have older siblings (Very *DUH* right?!). So, if a sulung marries a youngest, the sulung gets to experience how's its like to have older siblings. Similarly, the youngest born will have experiences how to have younger siblings (adik beradik si sulung).

That is the wonderful thing about the hypothesis! It's God's way of letting you experience having who you've never had! Don't you recall the times when you were young, and you wished you had an older brother, younger sister, or whatever?

You don't agree? Oh well, whatever :p

....

Anyway it's midday and I'm still in my pyjamas. I've finished cooking, blogging, forumming in my pyjamas. Maybe I'll complete the whole cycle by mopping in my pyjamas too.

But you know what? Ada spoiler. I received an sms from work, telling me to call someone coz it's urgent. Urgh, hate such calls.

Soon to be discharged

So Mak's back but I've still not been discharged from my cooking duties. Yesterday was ikan cencaru bakar (but Mak made the yummy sambal) & today, will mostly be left over ikan cencaru bakar + something with prawns.

The thing I don't like about cooking is finding out you're short of ingredients; the thing you want to cook needs daun limau purut or something, and that's exactly the item that's not in the fridge. I mean, how often do I use that leaf?

Today is gonna be the day...

A month has passed & Mak's coming back this afternoon!

But I've not swept or mopped the floor, the kitchen hasn't been cleaned & I don't seem to be cooking anything at all to welcome her back. But thankfully, the home is still in a recognizable state.

If we get hungry, I'll just pop by hjhmaimunah or sinarpagi for some nasi bungkus....being the good daughter that I am.

Anyway insya-Allah in a few hours' time, I'll be able to dispense my duties as a "mother" or "homemaker". Duties as a wife still continue though (for obvious reasons, duh) :p

For the past month, I've realised that being a homemaker ain't easy at all. For the following reasons:

i) Every night you think about what your family, which consists of 4 grown men & a teenage girl, will be eating for lunch.

ii) You decide that you have to cook, or take out Mak's frozen food from the freezer. You *must* not forget to thaw it the night before, if not, food will still be frozen by lunch time & won't heat up as easily.

iii) You can't go back to bed after subuh coz you'll need to cook some vegetables to ensure the family has a balanced diet.

iv) Ensure there's enough food for dinner too. If not, make a detour & buy some food after work.

v)You have to ensure the youngest person in the house goes to bed, latest at 10 pm, so that she won't have difficulty waking up for school the next morning. If she refuses to do so, you give her another 15 to 30 mins grace before really yelling for her to go to bed (despite protests from her). For greater effectiveness,
get Bapak to help in the yelling.

vi) You have to entertain yr siblings by listening to their stories in school or about their friends. You listen as they air their opinions or simply recall a funny incident that happened in the day. All this while you're either watching tv, or doing the dishes.

vii) Give yr sister the mandatory hugs she needs in a day, that Mak gives if she's around. But personally, this is easy, because I always hug my sister anyway.

viii) Ensure the house is in a livable state. But thank goodness Mak hasn't been too particular about cleanliness in the house too. As long as takde najis (lizards' droppings), as long as dust isn't an inch thick, we'll live quite comfortably.

Although I do perform some of the duties above when I'm not in the role of a "homemaker", it's really different when you do it full time. When you're a mother, your time is not your own; you share it with yr family, you share it with the kids. You listen to them even if you're not in the mood, because which kind of mother shuts her kids off from talking about their daly experiences, no matter how mundane they seem to you?

It has been a good experience, though. And Alhamdulillah, nasib baik the men in my house are not the choosy, cerewet type. Anything goes punya. Boleh panaskan lauk sendiri. And Bapak even responded to my sms request to buy cooked vege yesterday when I simply have no time (mood, actually) to cook vege in the morning before I went to work.

But for now, I'll check what time the Saudi flight touches down in S'pore, then get on with the household chores before I get ready to pick Nana up from school. It's gonna be a lovely day :)

Cyberloafing?? Nah, not really.

Sometimes only lah, when work becomes a drag, and the only way to prolong the process of becoming insane is to peek into the blogosphere, check an email or two, or a quick log into to MSN to see if anyone chat-worthy is online. This doesn't happen too often, though, not to the point of wasting 20 working days a year...or does it? :P

Well recently work has piled up so much upon me that I don't even have time to notice the msn sign on the bottom right of the computer screen. But today, I had time to sign in for a while, only to find a colleague online. I also chatted with an ex-housemate at 7.15 pm, but, that ain't cyberloafing...coz office hours dah habis kan?! Hehe!

Frankly I do believe that cyberloafing is theft. Theft of time. Which equates to theft of salary. Which of course, translates to gaji buta.

But hey hey, what's a few minutes on the net daily compared to the extra minutes, or even hours we spend out of office hours churning out the reports? Making the visits? And those burnt away time off that we never have time to claim anyway? An attempt to justify? Absolutely.

But of course, jangan lah sampai carried away, sampaikan, pergi kerje just to chat & blog, sampai takde time nak buat the real kerje. Now, that's bad. Tsk tsk. Nasib baik aku belum sampai that stage.

Yeah I may feel down lots these days because of persons I just can't avoid, but deep inside I still enjoy doing what I do - working with these unique group of individuals.

So that keeps me going.

But when the going gets tough, the tough gets online! Yeah, the only way to preserve my sanity sometimes.